The Golden Girls Dating Guide: What We Can Learn From Blanche Devereaux
If you grew up watching The Golden Girls, you already know there was nothing timid about Blanche Devereaux. She was bold, flirty, and completely at home in her skin—even as an older woman. That spirit still speaks to women in their 50s, 60s, and 70s who are dating, loving, and building relationships today. This guide pulls practical lessons from Blanche’s confidence, humor, and heart so you can bring more joy, clarity, and spark to your dating life now.
You’ll learn how to show up with confidence, set warm but firm boundaries, embrace your sexuality, and use modern tools without losing your values. You’ll also find simple scripts, first-date tips, and ways to protect your energy and time—all inspired by the most glamorous Golden Girl.
Why Blanche Still Matters
Many women who tuned in decades ago now see the show through a different lens. Back then, Blanche was a scandalous thrill. Today, she’s a compass. She reminds us that attraction, romance, and great sex don’t have an expiration date. She also modeled resilience after heartbreak, a rich social life, and loyal friendships—the real foundations of a good dating life at any age.
Blanche wasn’t perfect, but her flaws made her human. She misread signals, jumped to conclusions, and occasionally led with ego. Yet she adjusted, apologized, and kept going. That’s the core lesson: you don’t have to be flawless to be lovable. You only have to be honest and willing to learn.
The Blanche Devereaux Blueprint for Confidence
Confidence isn’t a gift; it’s a practice. Blanche built hers through daily choices that anyone can adopt—without the peignoir set.
- Dress for your mood, not your age. Wear colors, cuts, and fabrics that make you feel alive. If the mirror makes you smile, you’ll walk in with presence.
- Choose a signature. A bold lipstick, a silk scarf, a pendant—one simple trademark makes you feel “put together” with zero effort.
- Stand and sit tall. Shoulders back, slow your breath, chin level. Posture reads as poise before you say a word.
- Know your three talking points. Pick three topics you enjoy (travel plans, your garden, a recent book). You’ll never feel at a loss in conversation.
- Rehearse a power line. “I’m having a lovely time.” “I’d like to see you again.” Practice in the mirror so it sounds natural when it counts.
Confidence grows when you keep small promises to yourself. If you say you’ll go to the wine tasting, go. If you set a bedtime, keep it. Self-trust is the quiet glow that people notice.
Flirt Like Blanche—With Class
Flirting is playful attention, not pressure. It keeps dates light and helps you spot chemistry without over-investing.
- Use the triangle gaze: eyes to mouth to eyes. It’s subtle and warm.
- Compliment specifics: “That jacket suits you.” “I like your laugh.”
- Add a pause. After a joke or compliment, hold eye contact for a beat. Let the moment land.
- Mirror and match. Nod when he nods, lean in when he leans in. Micro-mirroring builds instant rapport.
- Exit on a high. End a conversation while it’s still fun: “I’m going to grab some water, but I’ve enjoyed this.”
Avoid sarcasm that can read as sharp on a first meeting. Keep it light and kind. Blanche wasn’t mean; she was magnetic.
Own Your Standards Without Apology
Blanche loved attention, but she loved herself more. She showed us that standards protect your joy.
- Decide your must-haves: kindness, honesty, emotional availability, similar life pace.
- Name your deal-breakers: chronic lateness, rude to waitstaff, pushy about intimacy, negativity.
- Write your red flags and green flags. Keep them on your phone for quick review after a date.
- Use simple boundary lines:
- “I like to take things slowly.”
- “I’m not comfortable with that, but I’m happy to do this instead.”
- “I had a nice time, but we’re not a match.”
Standards aren’t a wall; they’re a welcome mat for the right person.
Embracing Desire at Any Age
Blanche normalized wanting to feel desired—and to desire in return. Your sexuality is part of your health, not a guilty secret. Many women find intimacy improves with age because communication is clearer and expectations are grounded. Start with your own comfort.
If you’re returning to sex after a long break, talk to your healthcare provider about dryness, libido, and meds that might affect arousal. Lubricants, pelvic floor therapy, and honest conversation can make a huge difference. Consent is ongoing; “yes” once doesn’t mean “yes” always. And protection still matters. STIs affect every age group, so use condoms and get tested when you become intimate with someone new.
Dating After Loss or Divorce
Grief and love can coexist. Blanche respected her past while still choosing the present. If you’re widowed or divorced, you’re not “starting over”—you’re starting from experience.
It helps to name what you want your next chapter to feel like: peaceful companionship, shared adventures, emotional depth, playful romance, or a mix. You don’t owe a new partner your old story on the first date. Share at your pace. If a date compares you to their ex or seems stuck in bitterness, that’s information. You deserve someone who sees you now.
Plan First Dates the Blanche Way
- Choose short and bright: coffee, a gallery stroll, a wine flight, a matinee plus a walk.
- Sit at a 90-degree angle if possible. It feels less interview-like than face-to-face.
- Bring a light topic: a new exhibit, a local event, a funny article.
- Decide your out time in advance. “I have to head out by 5:30.”
- End with clarity:
- Yes: “I’d like to do this again next week—Tuesday works for me.”
- No: “Thank you for meeting. I don’t feel a romantic fit, but I wish you well.”
Clarity is kind. Ambiguity keeps everyone stuck.
Keeping Spark Without Games
Blanche enjoyed the chase, but she also spoke her mind. You can keep things exciting without pretending to be someone else.
- Text cadence: reply when you’re free, not on a script. Share something real about your day.
- Plan alternation: let both people suggest dates. It shows mutual interest.
- Surprise with small pleasures: a song link, a bakery recommendation, tickets to a talk.
- Praise effort: “I appreciate you choosing that quiet place. It was perfect for talking.”
When interest fades, say so. The right match will value your directness.
Body Image and Aging: Dress the Body You Have Today
Blanche loved glamour because it felt good. You don’t need sequins to feel radiant. Start with fit. Tailoring beats trends. Choose fabrics that move with you. Shoes should let you walk without thinking about your feet. If you’re self-conscious about a feature, don’t hide—balance. A V-neck lengthens the neck. Three-quarter sleeves flatter arms. Rich colors warm the skin. Most of all, pick outfits you can forget about once you step out the door. Presence is more attractive than perfection.
Friendship Is Your Dating Secret Weapon
The Golden Girls showed that friendship is the safety net under every romantic leap. Keep weekly touchpoints with your closest people: a standing brunch, a group text, a walking date. Let friends reality-check red flags and celebrate green ones. Shared laughter makes heartbreak bearable and good dates even better. Romance comes and goes; friendship is the constant that keeps your heart open.
Red Flags Blanche Would Side-Eye
- Love bombing: intense praise and future talk by week two
- Inconsistency: warm texts, cold behavior
- Financial pressure: early money stories, “investment opportunities,” or loans
- Boundary testing: pushing for late-night visits, last-minute plans only
- Isolation: discouraging you from seeing friends or family
When you spot one, step away. No speech required.
Green Flags Worth Leaning Into
- Respect for your time and response pace
- Follow-through on plans without prompting
- Curiosity about your interests and history
- Emotional steadiness during small conflicts
- A life they enjoy independent of you
Green flags don’t always look flashy. They feel calm and kind.
If You Want a Relationship, Say So
Blanche chased fun, but she also knew what she wanted in certain seasons. If your goal is a long-term partner, speak it early: “I’m dating with the hope of a committed relationship.” The right person will lean in or bow out. Either outcome saves time. If you want companionship without merging households, say that, too. There are many ways to love well at this stage of life.
A Simple Weekly Dating Ritual
- One social event or class
- One message to a promising person
- One wardrobe or grooming touch-up (polish shoes, mend a hem)
- One body treat (stretch class, massage, long bath)
- One reflection prompt: “What did I enjoy this week, with or without a date?”
Rituals keep momentum without burnout. They also remind you that your life is already rich.
Your Blanche-Inspired Next Steps
- Refresh your dating profile with three recent photos and a clear, warm bio.
- Pick one local event this month where conversation happens naturally.
- Practice two boundary lines and two flirt lines out loud.
- Tell two friends you’re open to introductions—and describe your green flags.
- Schedule a check-in with your doctor if you have questions about sexual health or comfort.
You’ve had decades to learn who you are. That’s your advantage. Like Blanche Devereaux, lead with charm, own your standards, and keep your heart brave. Love at this stage isn’t a rerun—it’s a brand-new episode, and you get to write the best lines.
